Julian after his most recent day painting with George and Paloma.
He turns 7 on Sunday.
Well its getting close people. I am getting close that is. WE are getting close...Within the next couple of weeks we will be going from a family of 3 to 4. It has been an interesting few months, some of my most miserable honestly. The perils of not being 100% healthy and taking on the rigors of pregnancy just was not something I really could wrap my head around. I have had a myriad of complications, from your normal pregnant lady woes, to full out pre-term labor ER trips. Adam has been a saint through all of this. He truly has. I have been impossible on so many levels because I am so limited in what I can actually do physically. It is extremely frustrating to not be in a place to climb on chairs and put stuff away way up in the reaches of the closet. In the midst of all of this we have just moved into a new place in a different part of Miami. It is totally bizarre. The house is functional, it will be fine once everything is put away and has its place. It needs a new bathtub, which the landlords are putting in after we get settled, and there are a few issues of weirdness with odd linoleum and unfinished wood floors, but it works for now. We have a place to live, we are safe and Julian is happy. That kind of makes it hard to complain.
I have been so lucky to be doing the work that I am still doing at the Kitchen (Voice Over Studio) and Temple Israel in the Religious School and the Youth Group. I have also been volunteering at the synagogue and trying to get some really cool programming organized there over the next few months. I wish there was a way for me to suppliment my portion of the income more, but it is what it is for now. We struggle, but we get by. (SQUEAK).
Theatre has really (obviously) taken a backseat. I am surprised at how much I DON'T miss it. I have come to a place where I realize the things I love about acting and doing the work are not what I miss about theatre. I don't miss the messiness of it all, and I am free of having to subject myself to people and situations that really compromise who I have become over the last few years. I miss the good work, the honest connections in the real moments of breath up there, and I miss the artistry...there is so little of that left anymore. I am so lucky to know that when (and if) I choose to return to performing in the theatre I just might be able to find the right opportunity, but for once in my life I am not obsessed with the idea that I HAVE TO BE IN A SHOW. It's a PLAY. Its called PLAY, it should be FUN and challenging and wonderful; not a mess of mediocre work, with people you wouldn't trust to take care of your dog for 24 hours while you are out of town. I want to be inspired and challenged in the tasks I CHOOSE to undertake.
Getting healthy, being a mother, growing my family and fostering the friendships that I have that are so dear to me are what count right now. I am so lucky to have a good number of people in my life that love me, love Adam and Julian that I want to focus on those things...not what I can get out of being seen in the right vehicle for myself as a performer. Whatever that is will come, if at all, when the need arises. I am getting stronger every day. I am enough.
